Bloody Water
by CrowNoYami
Summary: It was his fault. If he had known what would have happened, or even that it was a possibility he never would have let things get that far. It was his fault for not seeing the signs.


**Author's Note:** This is the only post that I will be making this month for the Gabriel Monthly Challenge. I start work on a large project after this (Reverse Wincest Bang) and simply won't have time. I know this is a horrible way to end things, but this story is complete. I'm sorry and please look at the warnings! Also, I changed what my original idea was, originally it was Gabe, you'll know when you read it what I mean. I'm so sorry to be posting something like this right after J2M's announcement, but it's on a deadline.

~This has been edited by QueenOfHearts

**Warnings/Tags: Suicide, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Blood, Graphic Description, Sad Ending**

**Bloody Water**

It was his fault.

If he had known what would have happened, or even that it was a possibility he never would have let things get that far. It had been years ago, a few decades before he first met the Winchesters, but he remembered it like it were only seconds before. Lawrence had been a victim, one that he had saved by playing a deadly prank on the homophobe who thought he had the right to beat the faggots out of town. Two had died before Gabriel came onto the scene. Nobody was looking into the disappearances. It would be years before anyone cared about missing homosexuals, but Lawrence had looked at him then as Gabriel stood there laughing as the bigot got his just desserts, and he hadn't been able to look away.

Lawrence was in his late twenties, fit and had baby blue eyes that had seen so much. Even with the blood running down his chin from his split lip and the bruise forming underneath his eye along with the swelling of his cheeks, he was beautiful. With a cocky swagger and grin, Gabriel snapped his fingers and cleaned the human up, healing him and taking a good look at what the other man had to offer. "Who are you?" Lawrence had asked a second before Gabriel had been about to turn away. He should have said nothing, should have flown away and never returned, but instead Gabriel had wanted a taste.

"Loki, Norse god of Mischief at your service." After that it was easy. Lawrence was so grateful that he had been saved that he was all too eager to give his body in thanks. Gabriel had even taken him back to his home, just on the edge of town, and remained with him for two weeks. It had been blissful, and as much as Gabriel hated to admit it, he could have seen himself stay with Lawrence until the end of the human's lifespan. It was his fault for not seeing the signs. "Will you stay with me?" Lawrence had asked one day, after another round of lovemaking that shook Gabriel to his very grace.

Humming, Gabriel trailed soft kisses along the back of Lawrence's neck and thought of his answer. "I will stay with you until time claims you. You need to understand that I'm not human, I won't age… but I'll stay with you until then." He had meant to reassure his lover that he would stay until he died, to give as much time as possible to Lawrence. They barely lasted another month. He had been working, playing tricks while Lawrence was supposed to be at the auto shop he worked at. Returning home, Gabriel was surprised at the silence in the house, how his grace told him that something was wrong. Searching through downstairs, Gabriel tried to find whatever was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

It wasn't until he moved upstairs that he noticed the light on in the bathroom and opened the door. The sight that greeted him would never be erased; he would remember how his lover looked in that exact moment for the rest of time. With a scream, Gabriel tried to pull Lawrence out of the tub, from **the window the rays from the setting sun** illuminated the scene. **Waves splashed around him** as he reached under the water to try and haul Lawrence onto the dry floor, the tainted **water coating him in scarlets and crimsons. **As he finally brought Lawrence onto the tile floor, Gabriel knew that his lover was gone.

Jerking back as his grace met no soul inside the body, Gabriel sobbed. On the sink was a note, but it would be several hours before he read Lawrence's last thoughts. Holding the cold body against his chest, Gabriel rocked while he cried as if his grief would bring his lover back. It was his fault. Lawrence had been at work when one of his coworkers pointed out that he was starting to get some grey in his hair, how he was growing older. It was done in harmless fun but had struck something deep in Lawrence. He couldn't grow old. In his last words Lawrence explained how sorry he was for leaving but that he couldn't stand the thought of Loki leaving _him_, so he took another way out. It explained how he would always love Loki, even if his soul was damned to Hell from his final act on Earth.

Gabriel was never able to **leave the visual of blood forever smearing his hands.** Years later, when a tall hunter with a dimpled grin turned his way, Gabriel lashed out. He did everything he could to keep the other at bay. Lawrence's death was his fault, but he would be damned if his love condemned another.

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